Yesterday was a packed day. I'm not going to lie, it was one of the 3(?) days or so that I actually had something going on all day. It was great. I endured through swimming at the courthouse in the morning, eating pizza for lunch, going to Bridgeport Village for a 3D movie (and grabbing multiple free samples along the way... from the same place...), going to Niketown (and not buying anything!...), dinner at Fuddruckers (oh my goodness that place is amazing), and other various stops that are unimportant to say, only to get back at 9:00 or so. We packed a whole day worth of quality stuff into 9 hours. My parents put on the movie called War of the Worlds, you know, the one with Tom Cruise. It's a good movie, but I've seen it before. SPOILER!! I really hate the ending in that movie. It's soooooooo anti-climactic. Towards the end, the Protaganist, Ray (Cruise) gets captured by the Strider after his daughter is too. The strider trys to pull him into the disgusting orafice of doom, but all the other captives pull him out . . . after he slips a grenade in there! Booyah, now that's awesome. So Ray destroys the strider in a very heroic fashion. The next day, they learn that the Striders became weak and that their forcefields became weak, so the army brought them down quite easily. We learn that the aliens became infected by earth's water and air. So basically, Ray kicks the striders butt in heroic fashion, only to learn that they were going to die anyway the next day. So lame!!
Anyway, back to the course of my day. Of course, the first thing I did when I got home was check my facebook to see if anything interesting happened.. Now, I don't remember, but I'm thinking no. Anyway, I saw that there were a few people I wanted to talk to. I realized that my teammates who went to Steens Mountain Running Camp were back because one of them was online and her status read "Had the best time runnin' at Steen's." Spacing out on the date, I realized that I was really anxious to talk to her. By the way, I used anxious correctly in context, and it's not synonomous with eager.
I was anxious for various reasons: I definitely expressed concern for one of my teammates who went. She had been coming to the physical therapy clinic that I work at because of shin splints and tight calves. She's had some rough seasons as well and definitely hasn't been able to run consistantly well. Luckily, she made it through all right, relieving me of that worry.
However, most of all, it was because I was so looking forward to that camp. I had all my registration stuff done during the track season. I can't remember if it was before my first bout with the fatigue that is now making my life more difficult and frustrating than I hoped. I remember that first day that I started experiencing this fatigue. I was in Coos Bay for the Prefontaine Invitational at Marshfield High School. I went on some warmup runs with the varsity guys and I remember just getting WAY TOO tired. I tried to shake it off and just tell myself that it was because I've just been sitting around all meet. "I'm ready to go. I'm in great shape." Well I wasn't in great shape. I had just injured my knee the week before and was stuck to riding a stationary bike for the whole week before running that race. I had run the day before the race and felt really out of sync and rhythm. It was terrible. But then, I took off my shoes and ran some strides barefoot, which really straightened things out. However, the same agenda didn't work for me on the day of the race. I had looked forward to running a FAST 3k on this day ever since the first day of track. I saw that Jared Bassett from Marshfield was on the heat sheet and I knew he'd take things out fast. With all of the prerace jitters, I did some strides before having to stop because they made me sooooo tired. At this point I was kinda worried. I stopped and just tried to relax before the gun. The starter was great and had a hilarious sense of humor. When we gathered at the start he said "Welcome to the women's polevault," even though it was the men's 3k and it wasn't even close to the polevault pit, "I'm sorry though, but this doesn't mean you get to into the girl's locker room." It was nice to have a guy who could loosen everyone up. However, I wouldn't stay that way for long. The gun went off and I passed 400 right on pace, and then things got worse. Josue was able to effortlessly pull away from me as he had done all season while my lanky self struggled with every step. At around 1k, I found myself in no-man's land, where I always had found myself. Just back end of the pack with no one to run with. At that point, I realized that I just had nothing in the tank. Every step became a struggle and I felt like a walking skeleton. My muscles were unresponsive and my face was pale as a ghost. I finished that race in 10:17, by no means a bad time, but I know I could've been a district finalist if I hadn't gone through all of this fatigue. I ended up feeling worse as the season finished up. The last 3k I ever ran was hell and it's not one that I ever want to talk about with anyone or definitely anyone who watched me suffer through 71/2 laps of agony. I still PRed though.
I'm sorry for the digression. I thought I'd let you all know where this all started. Despite all of this struggle, I pushed through anyway. I would feel good for maybe two days at a time and then feel like complete crap another day. Still, I perservered. Finally, I was hurt by incomparable fatigue on Tuesday July 8, when I couldn't finish a 2.2 mile run comfortably. At that point, I had no strength left in me, and everyday I had no strength to stand for a period of time.
I had looked forward to Steens for a year. It had been my plan to go since last xc season. My registration was ready and I was excited. Soon, I found everything crumbling around me. My running ability dropped to nonexistant, I was tired all the time, my hamstrings are still bothering me, and the camp director for Steens, Harland Yriarte (Great guy. He really is!), made the decision that I couldn't go. At the time when he said I couldn't go, I was a pretty emotional wreck, so this made me very sad, but even still, it was easier to accept. I knew that I wouldn't be able to run let alone at an almost elite level camp. However, talking to my teammate upon her return from camp confirmed everything that I had dreamed of about the camp, and I hate to say it (I really do) but it made me sick with disappointment. I had so desperately wanted to form strong friendships with runners who share the same committment as I do from all around the state and other parts of the country. If you know me or have read my previous blogs, you'll know that I'm not too happy with my team because they lack dedication and passion. I knew that Steens would be loaded with fine individuals like that. Despite my fantastic day, this made me incredibly sad. So, in a selfish way, it was really difficult to hear how great the camp was and see pictures of my teammates with new friends and smiling faces. DO NOT GET ME WRONG, I'm very happy for my teammates. I just wish that I could have been with them.
Later.
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1 comment:
Sorry dude
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