Personal Nature

Last night was one of those nights where, in spite of my fatigue and relaxed state, I could not sleep because of the many thoughts going through my head. I have a feeling that I would have never fallen asleep if I hadn't gotten up to write all this stuff down. Now, I'm a firm believer in the fact that electronics such as computer screens and Television sets stimulate the mind, therefore causing one to have trouble falling asleep, or in some cases, not sleeping restfully. I had probably both those experiences due to the fact that I woke up feeling like I hadn't slept at all.

I was thinking about all the times when I think that the answer or most logical choice is right in front of me, and yet, I ignore it and try for something else. I don't know why, but it is completely in my nature to never settle for something that comes easily. Ever since I could remember, I was setting my goals as high as the stars and I wouldn't rest until I accomplished my goals or at least knew that I did all I could for one day. Call it what you'd like. Some might say it's respectable while others would say that it's foolish. I tend to agree...

Sometimes, this works out and some times it really screws me over. And I mean it. Seriously, I've been way screwed over by my personality as of late. 4 months ago, we (Sprague) had a dual meet against McNary at McNary high school. Despite feeling a little tired and all, I still managed to set a huge PR in the 3000. Despite my happiness at the result, I ignored my contentment and decided to go out for another medium-hard training run later that night, figuring that I felt good then so why not take advantage of that and do what none of my competitors would do. I slept a couple more hours that night, only to wake up at the typical 5:45 and go for a hilly 2 mile run. It felt so good and I was really ecstatic about how my racing was going. I knew that I'd be on the podium come district time. My hopes for that were dashed by the afternoon, when I came down with bad knee pains while out on another run. No matter how I stretched the knee did not feel any better. I jogged back, cutting my run short, and immediately saw the trainer. I can't remember what she said that day, but I remember going to see her about everyday and we finally decided that it was probably hamstring strain of some kind. I still ran on it. 4 months later, here I am, MRI results back: Partially torn medial hamstring. The area in which the calves, hamstrings, quads, and adductors connect. I undoubtedly made it worse in the last 4 months, instead of just letting it heal.

Although I can't see a logical connection between my hamstring and my fatigue, I can't help but notice that I started feeling the first wave of bad fatigue around the same time as my hamstring (was it a strain at the time? or did I tear it originally?). I am convinced though, if I had been in better health (I still PRed in the district meet with a strained hamstring and fatigue problems) I would've been on the podium in both events.

I'm going through one of these predicaments myself right now and it's not concerned with running, despite the fact that I'm injured and likely out for the whole cross country season. This mentality and personal nature isn't just with my running. It occurs in all areas of life. Whether it be academics, athletics, or relationships, I always strive to be the best. I can think of many times where this personality trait has hurt me, but I will never be broken.