Hey everybody that may be reading this. It's been a long time since I've written anything on here. And just a forewarning--This is EVERYTHING that went through my mind this past 4-day weekend.
So I just got back to Oregon a couple hours ago after spending 3.5 to 4 days in Flagstaff, Arizona. I went to check out Northern Arizona University, a school that I've already been accepted to and everything. I attended a seminar about it in Portland about a month ago I think, and the school sounded fantastic. After much anticipation, and postponement, we finally found the chance to go down there. I'll break it down by day because it was an eventful day!
Thursday, October 30th:
Mostly just a travel day. We got into Phoenix at about 4? Gosh, it's hazy already. How about this, we got into Flagstaff at 7:30. It was really dark by then (Flagstaff is like the first place to get dark in America. And believe me, it's dark there) They don't do daylight savings there, but since it is technically mountain time, the Office was on at 8:00 pm! At that note, I was feeling good about the whole place (I'm easily impressed). Even though I had a terrible headache from all the traveling, I was able to enjoy myself when I got on facebook and talked to my friends that I dearly missed. We chilled for the rest of the evening and I found a love for political newscasting. I must say, this Tuesday will be an intense day. I have no idea how it'll turn out. I think I'll be happy either way, but I'm not sure.
Friday, October 31st:
Ok, so I'll tell you all straight up, I'm not a fan of halloween. I'm a wuss when it comes to all the scary stuff about it. I refuse to watch horror movies and I don't like the darkness centered around the whole day. Anyway, our tour was on Halloween, which was an interesting experience. Some people were dressed up in freaky outfits and some people were just weird! Moving on, we got the same powerpoint presentation about the school as we did in Portland, so nothing new there. We then had lunch, and the place was decorated with halloween stuff, which to me was enough for me to lose my appetite. They had a themed menu, and so naming a casserole dish brain stew (or something like that) isn't my idea of appetizing. So the tour continued and I was directed to the health and sciences department advisor as well as the Athletic Training Department head (who was great. She helped us alot). I learned that double majoring in Exercise Science and Athletic Training (my original plan) would be really difficult to do. Athletic training, as a major, demands 20-30 hours a week observing in an athletic traning room, as well as all the other research and homework. That's just the Athletic training major alone, not to mention my other major, exercise science. I would have to double major if I wanted to get the reduced tuition, but honestly, coupled with my desire to run on their cross country team, I just don't feel that I have the time for everything. Also, I learned that having only an undergraduate degree wouldn't get me far at all, so that means graduate school afterward. When we saw the conflict by double-majoring, the advisor suggested that I try to get Arizona residency, which would demand a job and ownership of property I believe. Honestly, this scared me out of my mind. If this were to happen, I wouldn't be a dependent of my parents and I'd be completely on my own. (Insert an image of me shuddering here).
So like I said, at this point, the whole college thing scared me pretty badly. Being completely independent. It's a scary thought, but also a revealing thought. Shall we continue?
Next was the actual campus tour. I got to talking to a kid from Colorado. I saw him pick up an "NAU Track" t-shirt in the bookstore, so I figured he was a runner. Turns out he runs around the same times as me and likes XC more than track (like I do). So that was cool, it gave us something to talk about while we waited for things to happen. However, it got way bizarre later. He noticed that a car drove was "rocking-out to high school musical." And so I said that I wouldn't know, in which he replied, "Oh, I'm just guessing." He told me that he was somewhat of a theater guy, and he told me that he did musicals at his high school. I told him that I was in Anything Goes my sophomore year, and he told me that they did that last year... It gets weirder. I asked him, "What part did you play? Please don't say the photographer." ... and he said, "Honestly, yeah." He was also a sailor, LIKE ME! At this point, I didn't know what to think, I was feeling the effects of the bizarreness. But he's a cool guy, so we're friends.
Through the whole tour, I noticed how barren Flagstaff really is. Like the rest of Arizona, it's just desert, but in this case, high desert. It just wasn't green, and it was very dry and dusty on the gravel "trails". There were a few times where I could see myself going to school there (I'll try to upload some pictures on here later), but mostly, I just didn't picture myself there. I also learned that Arizona has one of the worst rankings for the quality of education for Kindergarten through 12th grade. Kids don't understand punctuation and are ecstatic to receive C's. Alot of my success these past 4 years in high school are dependent upon the ambition and intelligence of the students around me. If I were to go to NAU, there would probably be a bunch of stupid in-staters, and I just don't think that'd work for me. I love working with the quality students now. All you obsessive-compulsive kids, I love you!
Saturday, November 1st:
This was a very interesting day, but a good one. I got up for breakfast, cooked a waffle in the hotel and shot a very quick prayer before eating. I looked up to find an older, texan gentleman looking at me. I said hello, and he asked me "Who are you praying to?" I was a little taken-aback and said "God." And he asked me which God? So I replied "Jesus Christ." He then continued to talk to me for about a half an hour about everything that was going on through his mind. Very talkative guy and a very nice guy. Despite my belief that everything happens for a reason, I kind of wondered "Why did I have to pray at that time?" His name was James Taylor, but not the musician. After that, I went for a run on the trail system that went through NAU. I'm still sick, and pretty much out of shape, but the elevation seemed to take a toll on me. Also, the trail was just a dirty and dusty gravel trail, and I feel spoiled to live in Oregon where there are beautiful tanbark and woodchip trails winding through beautiful forested areas. This was kind of disappointing to me.
We went to the Grand Canyons later that day, and let me tell you, they are the grandest of canyons. It was ASTONISHING!! That was a great experience, and I'd say that the whole trip was worth it for that.
Coming back, the check engine light came on... There are absolutely NO gas stations between the grand canyon and Flagstaff. Yeah, all like 90 miles or so. We seemed to be driving back on empty for awhile, only to find out that we still probably had 3 gallons left when we finally got back to Flagstaff and filled up. That was a stressful period, especially since I didn't have any cell service pretty much that whole time. But we made it back safely, and we were relieved.
Among other things, the people are a-holes (pardon my language) down in Flagstaff. I almost got run-down by a guy with his shopping cart. I was walking towards my mom and he comes up and doesn't slow down at all, and almost hits me. He just carried on, picked up bread all nonchalantly. My mom was shocked, I was just wanting to ask "what the heck man?" Another guy in a truck was cussing out the car in front of him waiting to turn right because he didn't aggressively go at a certain point in time. They are really aggressive drivers down there.
A big thing I don't like though is that it's SO DARK. Flagstaff is the only city where the lights only shine down instead of out, allowing a stronger view of the skies. However, everyone wears dark clothing and it's hard to see anyone. They also use yellow lights which are really disorienting.
Sunday, November 2nd:
To save time, since this was just another travel day, I'll make it short and sweet. We travelled towards the airport by taking a very gorgeous scenic route through the town of Sedona. There were tons of red-rock formations and it was just an amazing experience. Blah Blah Blah, we didn't think we'd make our flight, we got lost trying to find a Baja Fresh, we got stressed, blah blah blah. BUT WE MADE IT HOME!! It's honestly like a miracle to be back. I missed the rain, the greenness and yellowness of autumn in the pacific northwest. This trip was a revealing experience. I know that I'm confused out of my mind, and completely lost, but hey, so is everyone else. I've got time.
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Running For All the Wrong Reasons
In my personality, I believe that everything happens for a reason. It's the optimistic side of me. I've had many failures in life that have taught me lessons and some I still don't know why they turned out the way they did, but I stayed optimistic. This was not the case with my most recent injury and fatigue. I felt skeptical and frustrated with life and, more importantly, frustrated with God. I couldn't comprehend why God would take away my greatest passion in life. Now, things lead me to belief that I had more to gain by this fall and I definitely came through for the better.
When I started running, I did it more recreationally and had a lot of fun with the social aspect of XC. I was good for the team, being the number 2 man, but it's all relative to the team you are on, which happened to be one of the worst teams in the state. At this time, running hardly consumed my life. A part of me wishes that I started my freshman year and got more competitive earlier, but, as my personality does, I reminded myself that everything happens for a reason.
So, summer before junior year rolls around and I jump from running 20 miles a week to 40+ a week, and yielded great results... for a little while. I had developed a great passion for running and was determined to be the best. I went into the season with the goal of being right behind my teammate (the defending district champ). I did everything I could to achieve my goal. I ran my workouts really well and was really strong, did a lot of core work in my spare time, spent a long time stretching, and was really concerned with having a proper diet. I ran way too hard during the summer, preparing myself to be the best runner in the district. I set PRs in open summer races, was nailing workouts, and finally earned some peoples' respect. I went into the second race of the season and PRed by a little over a minute for a 5k. I was ecstatic, and it put my in the top-10 in my district. That was the highest (or lowest I guess) that I ever got. I didn't run that fast again, and still haven't. I ran a few seconds slower the next week and from then on I never was close. I pushed myself to be a champion over night. I ran really hard every day of the summer and expected to see results right away. Running, and the obsessive lifestyle that came along with it, became an addiction. I was running for all the wrong reasons: the accolades and the times instead of the pure enjoyment of worshipping God for the ability he has given me. Don't get me wrong, to be a competitive distance runner, or anything for that matter, you have to go for times and the accolades if you want to run well, but my situation was different. My happiness depended on the times I was running and the places I was finishing. This called for times of depression, but nothing major. I had set the goal to be right behind my district champion teammate and qualify for state. Things didn't play out like I had hoped; I had finished a mere 19th, 9 or 10 spots from qualifying. And I finished 3rd on the team. I remember walking away from everyone, purposefully alienating myself from everyone because I was so frustrated and depressed with myself.
Winter came, and I still hadn't learned my lesson, because I was still running for myself and not praising God for this amazing gift he has given me. I came down with something wrong with my ankle. Maybe a strained ligament.. the doctors never figured it out. With some physical therapy and time to rest, it finally went away... only after I came down with tendonitis in my foot--a runner's worst nightmare. I was confined only to biking and was cleared to run probably about a month before track started. I was still shallow and continued to run selfishly. Things went mediocrely, and by the time mid-track season came around, I strain my hamstring. And here I am. Still recovering from this hamstring snafu.
It's so easy to fall into the trap of running for myself and having shallow motivations. During Spring Break, while on a run in Auburn, California along a beautiful trail along side the brink of a "river" I had the most intimate time with God that I've ever experienced. Basically, I just talked to him and prayed to him for the whole 3 miles or so, and honestly, the run felt so euphoric and effortless that I started to cry while shivers escalated through my body. All I could do was thank him for the beautiful gift of life. However, back to my normal life routine, including school and regular (competitive) track practices, I quickly fell back into that trap, leading to nothing good.
God has given me many reasons to give running up and many times I've questioned what I was doing, or what I was doing wrong, and whether that running was the right thing for me. A good friend told me today, and I wish I could remember it exactly (it was probably much more eloquent than what I'll say), "We shouldn't ever have to worry, because if we put all our faith and trust in God, everything will work out for the best." I believe that to be 100% true.
So here I stand, beat-up and defeated, but more faithful and wiser. I have fallen, but more importantly, I have gotten back up and I will never give up on running.
P.S. Here is a video from my greatest role model, Olympic marathoner Ryan Hall, and is one of the videos I turn to when I need to refresh myself who I am truly running for.
When I started running, I did it more recreationally and had a lot of fun with the social aspect of XC. I was good for the team, being the number 2 man, but it's all relative to the team you are on, which happened to be one of the worst teams in the state. At this time, running hardly consumed my life. A part of me wishes that I started my freshman year and got more competitive earlier, but, as my personality does, I reminded myself that everything happens for a reason.
So, summer before junior year rolls around and I jump from running 20 miles a week to 40+ a week, and yielded great results... for a little while. I had developed a great passion for running and was determined to be the best. I went into the season with the goal of being right behind my teammate (the defending district champ). I did everything I could to achieve my goal. I ran my workouts really well and was really strong, did a lot of core work in my spare time, spent a long time stretching, and was really concerned with having a proper diet. I ran way too hard during the summer, preparing myself to be the best runner in the district. I set PRs in open summer races, was nailing workouts, and finally earned some peoples' respect. I went into the second race of the season and PRed by a little over a minute for a 5k. I was ecstatic, and it put my in the top-10 in my district. That was the highest (or lowest I guess) that I ever got. I didn't run that fast again, and still haven't. I ran a few seconds slower the next week and from then on I never was close. I pushed myself to be a champion over night. I ran really hard every day of the summer and expected to see results right away. Running, and the obsessive lifestyle that came along with it, became an addiction. I was running for all the wrong reasons: the accolades and the times instead of the pure enjoyment of worshipping God for the ability he has given me. Don't get me wrong, to be a competitive distance runner, or anything for that matter, you have to go for times and the accolades if you want to run well, but my situation was different. My happiness depended on the times I was running and the places I was finishing. This called for times of depression, but nothing major. I had set the goal to be right behind my district champion teammate and qualify for state. Things didn't play out like I had hoped; I had finished a mere 19th, 9 or 10 spots from qualifying. And I finished 3rd on the team. I remember walking away from everyone, purposefully alienating myself from everyone because I was so frustrated and depressed with myself.
Winter came, and I still hadn't learned my lesson, because I was still running for myself and not praising God for this amazing gift he has given me. I came down with something wrong with my ankle. Maybe a strained ligament.. the doctors never figured it out. With some physical therapy and time to rest, it finally went away... only after I came down with tendonitis in my foot--a runner's worst nightmare. I was confined only to biking and was cleared to run probably about a month before track started. I was still shallow and continued to run selfishly. Things went mediocrely, and by the time mid-track season came around, I strain my hamstring. And here I am. Still recovering from this hamstring snafu.
It's so easy to fall into the trap of running for myself and having shallow motivations. During Spring Break, while on a run in Auburn, California along a beautiful trail along side the brink of a "river" I had the most intimate time with God that I've ever experienced. Basically, I just talked to him and prayed to him for the whole 3 miles or so, and honestly, the run felt so euphoric and effortless that I started to cry while shivers escalated through my body. All I could do was thank him for the beautiful gift of life. However, back to my normal life routine, including school and regular (competitive) track practices, I quickly fell back into that trap, leading to nothing good.
God has given me many reasons to give running up and many times I've questioned what I was doing, or what I was doing wrong, and whether that running was the right thing for me. A good friend told me today, and I wish I could remember it exactly (it was probably much more eloquent than what I'll say), "We shouldn't ever have to worry, because if we put all our faith and trust in God, everything will work out for the best." I believe that to be 100% true.
So here I stand, beat-up and defeated, but more faithful and wiser. I have fallen, but more importantly, I have gotten back up and I will never give up on running.
P.S. Here is a video from my greatest role model, Olympic marathoner Ryan Hall, and is one of the videos I turn to when I need to refresh myself who I am truly running for.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Personal Nature
Last night was one of those nights where, in spite of my fatigue and relaxed state, I could not sleep because of the many thoughts going through my head. I have a feeling that I would have never fallen asleep if I hadn't gotten up to write all this stuff down. Now, I'm a firm believer in the fact that electronics such as computer screens and Television sets stimulate the mind, therefore causing one to have trouble falling asleep, or in some cases, not sleeping restfully. I had probably both those experiences due to the fact that I woke up feeling like I hadn't slept at all.
I was thinking about all the times when I think that the answer or most logical choice is right in front of me, and yet, I ignore it and try for something else. I don't know why, but it is completely in my nature to never settle for something that comes easily. Ever since I could remember, I was setting my goals as high as the stars and I wouldn't rest until I accomplished my goals or at least knew that I did all I could for one day. Call it what you'd like. Some might say it's respectable while others would say that it's foolish. I tend to agree...
Sometimes, this works out and some times it really screws me over. And I mean it. Seriously, I've been way screwed over by my personality as of late. 4 months ago, we (Sprague) had a dual meet against McNary at McNary high school. Despite feeling a little tired and all, I still managed to set a huge PR in the 3000. Despite my happiness at the result, I ignored my contentment and decided to go out for another medium-hard training run later that night, figuring that I felt good then so why not take advantage of that and do what none of my competitors would do. I slept a couple more hours that night, only to wake up at the typical 5:45 and go for a hilly 2 mile run. It felt so good and I was really ecstatic about how my racing was going. I knew that I'd be on the podium come district time. My hopes for that were dashed by the afternoon, when I came down with bad knee pains while out on another run. No matter how I stretched the knee did not feel any better. I jogged back, cutting my run short, and immediately saw the trainer. I can't remember what she said that day, but I remember going to see her about everyday and we finally decided that it was probably hamstring strain of some kind. I still ran on it. 4 months later, here I am, MRI results back: Partially torn medial hamstring. The area in which the calves, hamstrings, quads, and adductors connect. I undoubtedly made it worse in the last 4 months, instead of just letting it heal.
Although I can't see a logical connection between my hamstring and my fatigue, I can't help but notice that I started feeling the first wave of bad fatigue around the same time as my hamstring (was it a strain at the time? or did I tear it originally?). I am convinced though, if I had been in better health (I still PRed in the district meet with a strained hamstring and fatigue problems) I would've been on the podium in both events.
I'm going through one of these predicaments myself right now and it's not concerned with running, despite the fact that I'm injured and likely out for the whole cross country season. This mentality and personal nature isn't just with my running. It occurs in all areas of life. Whether it be academics, athletics, or relationships, I always strive to be the best. I can think of many times where this personality trait has hurt me, but I will never be broken.
I was thinking about all the times when I think that the answer or most logical choice is right in front of me, and yet, I ignore it and try for something else. I don't know why, but it is completely in my nature to never settle for something that comes easily. Ever since I could remember, I was setting my goals as high as the stars and I wouldn't rest until I accomplished my goals or at least knew that I did all I could for one day. Call it what you'd like. Some might say it's respectable while others would say that it's foolish. I tend to agree...
Sometimes, this works out and some times it really screws me over. And I mean it. Seriously, I've been way screwed over by my personality as of late. 4 months ago, we (Sprague) had a dual meet against McNary at McNary high school. Despite feeling a little tired and all, I still managed to set a huge PR in the 3000. Despite my happiness at the result, I ignored my contentment and decided to go out for another medium-hard training run later that night, figuring that I felt good then so why not take advantage of that and do what none of my competitors would do. I slept a couple more hours that night, only to wake up at the typical 5:45 and go for a hilly 2 mile run. It felt so good and I was really ecstatic about how my racing was going. I knew that I'd be on the podium come district time. My hopes for that were dashed by the afternoon, when I came down with bad knee pains while out on another run. No matter how I stretched the knee did not feel any better. I jogged back, cutting my run short, and immediately saw the trainer. I can't remember what she said that day, but I remember going to see her about everyday and we finally decided that it was probably hamstring strain of some kind. I still ran on it. 4 months later, here I am, MRI results back: Partially torn medial hamstring. The area in which the calves, hamstrings, quads, and adductors connect. I undoubtedly made it worse in the last 4 months, instead of just letting it heal.
Although I can't see a logical connection between my hamstring and my fatigue, I can't help but notice that I started feeling the first wave of bad fatigue around the same time as my hamstring (was it a strain at the time? or did I tear it originally?). I am convinced though, if I had been in better health (I still PRed in the district meet with a strained hamstring and fatigue problems) I would've been on the podium in both events.
I'm going through one of these predicaments myself right now and it's not concerned with running, despite the fact that I'm injured and likely out for the whole cross country season. This mentality and personal nature isn't just with my running. It occurs in all areas of life. Whether it be academics, athletics, or relationships, I always strive to be the best. I can think of many times where this personality trait has hurt me, but I will never be broken.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Revisitation of Paychecks and Politics
You know, it's amazing how much money can make me question my believes. By amazing, I mean crazy and pathetic, but it's very true. I'm definitely not the only one either, but that's a different story.
I got my third paycheck from work two days ago. If you know me, you probably know that I work at BPM physical therapy, rated the best physical therapy clinic on the west coast for the fifth year in a row by Time Magazine. http://www.time.com/time/specials/2007/0,28757,1730759,00.html. Anyway, I got my pay check and after 40 hours of hard work and dedication, two full days of work were taken out by taxes. Immediately I thought: "I HATE TAXES!!!" I know this will strike up some disagreements and what not but this is why I have a blog of my own. The story doesn't end here though. Here's how I feel:
-I'm in favor of taxes supporting the elderly or disabled (ones who physically cannot work), so social security going to help these people... right on. They've done their share.
-I'm in favor of taxes that support the people who seriously try to make a living for themselves but fall short. I wish I could think of an example for this but honestly I cannot. Seriously though, I don't know why people wouldn't be able to get jobs. Especially if they are adults. There area lot of menial jobs available. For instance, when I see "homeless" people around Salem (which I don't buy for a second), holding signs asking for money it makes me wonder, "Oh, they're holding signs begging for money. Verizon Wireless is a block away and they could actually earn minimum wage to hold a sign. There are also a bunch of home building companies that offer the same deal." But no, they are too lazy to subject themselves to commitment.
-I am against the taxes of the middle class going towards people who watch their TVs in their over grown "lawns" while sitting in beat up reclining chairs next to a refrigerator full of beer. Here's a story and food for thought. My sister used to work at Northern Lights Theatre Pub. One day, a guy came in appearing very sloppy, turning in an incomplete and sloppy job application. My sister asked him if he was serious, and he told her that all he needed to do was turn in job applications so that he could get paid for unemployment. He didn't want the job, he just wanted to be a leech to society and steal hard-working people's money.
I realized the amount of taxes taken out of my paycheck isn't even close to being worth complaining about, it's more the principle of the hard working middle class people who are cheated out of hard earned money because other parasites siphon it away.
My sister told me the other day that she heard someone say on the radio that Democrats and Liberals were ones for helping children, women, and the less fortunate (AKA Humanitarians), whereas Republicans and Conservatives are classified as ambitious people in business and something else (AKA selfish greedy people). At first glance I said, "Well, that's kind of true." But it's a left wing generalization intending to make the other side of the spectrum look bad. Would you say that my right leaning sister who's a bilingual elementary school teacher in a less fortunate area would not be one for helping children and the less fortunate. I don't think so.
Regarding politics, I found that I have a really hard time supporting anyone for president because I believe in far-fetched ideas (see first entry), and it's hard to determine what politicians actually believe. I just want to say a couple things.
-Barack Obama has spent more time campaigning for president than he actually has been in office. It doesn't seem like he's come forward with his beliefs. I definitely respect him for keeping morale high in this country, but I can't help but feel that people may be blindly supporting him.
-John McCain was involved in the Keating 5. Wikipedia it if you don't know what that was. Scandel in the past could just be a foreshadowing to a disastrous presidency. I can't say for either of them. We'll just have to wait and see.
Peace be with you all.
I got my third paycheck from work two days ago. If you know me, you probably know that I work at BPM physical therapy, rated the best physical therapy clinic on the west coast for the fifth year in a row by Time Magazine. http://www.time.com/time/specials/2007/0,28757,1730759,00.html. Anyway, I got my pay check and after 40 hours of hard work and dedication, two full days of work were taken out by taxes. Immediately I thought: "I HATE TAXES!!!" I know this will strike up some disagreements and what not but this is why I have a blog of my own. The story doesn't end here though. Here's how I feel:
-I'm in favor of taxes supporting the elderly or disabled (ones who physically cannot work), so social security going to help these people... right on. They've done their share.
-I'm in favor of taxes that support the people who seriously try to make a living for themselves but fall short. I wish I could think of an example for this but honestly I cannot. Seriously though, I don't know why people wouldn't be able to get jobs. Especially if they are adults. There area lot of menial jobs available. For instance, when I see "homeless" people around Salem (which I don't buy for a second), holding signs asking for money it makes me wonder, "Oh, they're holding signs begging for money. Verizon Wireless is a block away and they could actually earn minimum wage to hold a sign. There are also a bunch of home building companies that offer the same deal." But no, they are too lazy to subject themselves to commitment.
-I am against the taxes of the middle class going towards people who watch their TVs in their over grown "lawns" while sitting in beat up reclining chairs next to a refrigerator full of beer. Here's a story and food for thought. My sister used to work at Northern Lights Theatre Pub. One day, a guy came in appearing very sloppy, turning in an incomplete and sloppy job application. My sister asked him if he was serious, and he told her that all he needed to do was turn in job applications so that he could get paid for unemployment. He didn't want the job, he just wanted to be a leech to society and steal hard-working people's money.
I realized the amount of taxes taken out of my paycheck isn't even close to being worth complaining about, it's more the principle of the hard working middle class people who are cheated out of hard earned money because other parasites siphon it away.
My sister told me the other day that she heard someone say on the radio that Democrats and Liberals were ones for helping children, women, and the less fortunate (AKA Humanitarians), whereas Republicans and Conservatives are classified as ambitious people in business and something else (AKA selfish greedy people). At first glance I said, "Well, that's kind of true." But it's a left wing generalization intending to make the other side of the spectrum look bad. Would you say that my right leaning sister who's a bilingual elementary school teacher in a less fortunate area would not be one for helping children and the less fortunate. I don't think so.
Regarding politics, I found that I have a really hard time supporting anyone for president because I believe in far-fetched ideas (see first entry), and it's hard to determine what politicians actually believe. I just want to say a couple things.
-Barack Obama has spent more time campaigning for president than he actually has been in office. It doesn't seem like he's come forward with his beliefs. I definitely respect him for keeping morale high in this country, but I can't help but feel that people may be blindly supporting him.
-John McCain was involved in the Keating 5. Wikipedia it if you don't know what that was. Scandel in the past could just be a foreshadowing to a disastrous presidency. I can't say for either of them. We'll just have to wait and see.
Peace be with you all.
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Ain't No Cure for the Summertime Blues
Yesterday was a packed day. I'm not going to lie, it was one of the 3(?) days or so that I actually had something going on all day. It was great. I endured through swimming at the courthouse in the morning, eating pizza for lunch, going to Bridgeport Village for a 3D movie (and grabbing multiple free samples along the way... from the same place...), going to Niketown (and not buying anything!...), dinner at Fuddruckers (oh my goodness that place is amazing), and other various stops that are unimportant to say, only to get back at 9:00 or so. We packed a whole day worth of quality stuff into 9 hours. My parents put on the movie called War of the Worlds, you know, the one with Tom Cruise. It's a good movie, but I've seen it before. SPOILER!! I really hate the ending in that movie. It's soooooooo anti-climactic. Towards the end, the Protaganist, Ray (Cruise) gets captured by the Strider after his daughter is too. The strider trys to pull him into the disgusting orafice of doom, but all the other captives pull him out . . . after he slips a grenade in there! Booyah, now that's awesome. So Ray destroys the strider in a very heroic fashion. The next day, they learn that the Striders became weak and that their forcefields became weak, so the army brought them down quite easily. We learn that the aliens became infected by earth's water and air. So basically, Ray kicks the striders butt in heroic fashion, only to learn that they were going to die anyway the next day. So lame!!
Anyway, back to the course of my day. Of course, the first thing I did when I got home was check my facebook to see if anything interesting happened.. Now, I don't remember, but I'm thinking no. Anyway, I saw that there were a few people I wanted to talk to. I realized that my teammates who went to Steens Mountain Running Camp were back because one of them was online and her status read "Had the best time runnin' at Steen's." Spacing out on the date, I realized that I was really anxious to talk to her. By the way, I used anxious correctly in context, and it's not synonomous with eager.
I was anxious for various reasons: I definitely expressed concern for one of my teammates who went. She had been coming to the physical therapy clinic that I work at because of shin splints and tight calves. She's had some rough seasons as well and definitely hasn't been able to run consistantly well. Luckily, she made it through all right, relieving me of that worry.
However, most of all, it was because I was so looking forward to that camp. I had all my registration stuff done during the track season. I can't remember if it was before my first bout with the fatigue that is now making my life more difficult and frustrating than I hoped. I remember that first day that I started experiencing this fatigue. I was in Coos Bay for the Prefontaine Invitational at Marshfield High School. I went on some warmup runs with the varsity guys and I remember just getting WAY TOO tired. I tried to shake it off and just tell myself that it was because I've just been sitting around all meet. "I'm ready to go. I'm in great shape." Well I wasn't in great shape. I had just injured my knee the week before and was stuck to riding a stationary bike for the whole week before running that race. I had run the day before the race and felt really out of sync and rhythm. It was terrible. But then, I took off my shoes and ran some strides barefoot, which really straightened things out. However, the same agenda didn't work for me on the day of the race. I had looked forward to running a FAST 3k on this day ever since the first day of track. I saw that Jared Bassett from Marshfield was on the heat sheet and I knew he'd take things out fast. With all of the prerace jitters, I did some strides before having to stop because they made me sooooo tired. At this point I was kinda worried. I stopped and just tried to relax before the gun. The starter was great and had a hilarious sense of humor. When we gathered at the start he said "Welcome to the women's polevault," even though it was the men's 3k and it wasn't even close to the polevault pit, "I'm sorry though, but this doesn't mean you get to into the girl's locker room." It was nice to have a guy who could loosen everyone up. However, I wouldn't stay that way for long. The gun went off and I passed 400 right on pace, and then things got worse. Josue was able to effortlessly pull away from me as he had done all season while my lanky self struggled with every step. At around 1k, I found myself in no-man's land, where I always had found myself. Just back end of the pack with no one to run with. At that point, I realized that I just had nothing in the tank. Every step became a struggle and I felt like a walking skeleton. My muscles were unresponsive and my face was pale as a ghost. I finished that race in 10:17, by no means a bad time, but I know I could've been a district finalist if I hadn't gone through all of this fatigue. I ended up feeling worse as the season finished up. The last 3k I ever ran was hell and it's not one that I ever want to talk about with anyone or definitely anyone who watched me suffer through 71/2 laps of agony. I still PRed though.
I'm sorry for the digression. I thought I'd let you all know where this all started. Despite all of this struggle, I pushed through anyway. I would feel good for maybe two days at a time and then feel like complete crap another day. Still, I perservered. Finally, I was hurt by incomparable fatigue on Tuesday July 8, when I couldn't finish a 2.2 mile run comfortably. At that point, I had no strength left in me, and everyday I had no strength to stand for a period of time.
I had looked forward to Steens for a year. It had been my plan to go since last xc season. My registration was ready and I was excited. Soon, I found everything crumbling around me. My running ability dropped to nonexistant, I was tired all the time, my hamstrings are still bothering me, and the camp director for Steens, Harland Yriarte (Great guy. He really is!), made the decision that I couldn't go. At the time when he said I couldn't go, I was a pretty emotional wreck, so this made me very sad, but even still, it was easier to accept. I knew that I wouldn't be able to run let alone at an almost elite level camp. However, talking to my teammate upon her return from camp confirmed everything that I had dreamed of about the camp, and I hate to say it (I really do) but it made me sick with disappointment. I had so desperately wanted to form strong friendships with runners who share the same committment as I do from all around the state and other parts of the country. If you know me or have read my previous blogs, you'll know that I'm not too happy with my team because they lack dedication and passion. I knew that Steens would be loaded with fine individuals like that. Despite my fantastic day, this made me incredibly sad. So, in a selfish way, it was really difficult to hear how great the camp was and see pictures of my teammates with new friends and smiling faces. DO NOT GET ME WRONG, I'm very happy for my teammates. I just wish that I could have been with them.
Later.
Anyway, back to the course of my day. Of course, the first thing I did when I got home was check my facebook to see if anything interesting happened.. Now, I don't remember, but I'm thinking no. Anyway, I saw that there were a few people I wanted to talk to. I realized that my teammates who went to Steens Mountain Running Camp were back because one of them was online and her status read "Had the best time runnin' at Steen's." Spacing out on the date, I realized that I was really anxious to talk to her. By the way, I used anxious correctly in context, and it's not synonomous with eager.
I was anxious for various reasons: I definitely expressed concern for one of my teammates who went. She had been coming to the physical therapy clinic that I work at because of shin splints and tight calves. She's had some rough seasons as well and definitely hasn't been able to run consistantly well. Luckily, she made it through all right, relieving me of that worry.
However, most of all, it was because I was so looking forward to that camp. I had all my registration stuff done during the track season. I can't remember if it was before my first bout with the fatigue that is now making my life more difficult and frustrating than I hoped. I remember that first day that I started experiencing this fatigue. I was in Coos Bay for the Prefontaine Invitational at Marshfield High School. I went on some warmup runs with the varsity guys and I remember just getting WAY TOO tired. I tried to shake it off and just tell myself that it was because I've just been sitting around all meet. "I'm ready to go. I'm in great shape." Well I wasn't in great shape. I had just injured my knee the week before and was stuck to riding a stationary bike for the whole week before running that race. I had run the day before the race and felt really out of sync and rhythm. It was terrible. But then, I took off my shoes and ran some strides barefoot, which really straightened things out. However, the same agenda didn't work for me on the day of the race. I had looked forward to running a FAST 3k on this day ever since the first day of track. I saw that Jared Bassett from Marshfield was on the heat sheet and I knew he'd take things out fast. With all of the prerace jitters, I did some strides before having to stop because they made me sooooo tired. At this point I was kinda worried. I stopped and just tried to relax before the gun. The starter was great and had a hilarious sense of humor. When we gathered at the start he said "Welcome to the women's polevault," even though it was the men's 3k and it wasn't even close to the polevault pit, "I'm sorry though, but this doesn't mean you get to into the girl's locker room." It was nice to have a guy who could loosen everyone up. However, I wouldn't stay that way for long. The gun went off and I passed 400 right on pace, and then things got worse. Josue was able to effortlessly pull away from me as he had done all season while my lanky self struggled with every step. At around 1k, I found myself in no-man's land, where I always had found myself. Just back end of the pack with no one to run with. At that point, I realized that I just had nothing in the tank. Every step became a struggle and I felt like a walking skeleton. My muscles were unresponsive and my face was pale as a ghost. I finished that race in 10:17, by no means a bad time, but I know I could've been a district finalist if I hadn't gone through all of this fatigue. I ended up feeling worse as the season finished up. The last 3k I ever ran was hell and it's not one that I ever want to talk about with anyone or definitely anyone who watched me suffer through 71/2 laps of agony. I still PRed though.
I'm sorry for the digression. I thought I'd let you all know where this all started. Despite all of this struggle, I pushed through anyway. I would feel good for maybe two days at a time and then feel like complete crap another day. Still, I perservered. Finally, I was hurt by incomparable fatigue on Tuesday July 8, when I couldn't finish a 2.2 mile run comfortably. At that point, I had no strength left in me, and everyday I had no strength to stand for a period of time.
I had looked forward to Steens for a year. It had been my plan to go since last xc season. My registration was ready and I was excited. Soon, I found everything crumbling around me. My running ability dropped to nonexistant, I was tired all the time, my hamstrings are still bothering me, and the camp director for Steens, Harland Yriarte (Great guy. He really is!), made the decision that I couldn't go. At the time when he said I couldn't go, I was a pretty emotional wreck, so this made me very sad, but even still, it was easier to accept. I knew that I wouldn't be able to run let alone at an almost elite level camp. However, talking to my teammate upon her return from camp confirmed everything that I had dreamed of about the camp, and I hate to say it (I really do) but it made me sick with disappointment. I had so desperately wanted to form strong friendships with runners who share the same committment as I do from all around the state and other parts of the country. If you know me or have read my previous blogs, you'll know that I'm not too happy with my team because they lack dedication and passion. I knew that Steens would be loaded with fine individuals like that. Despite my fantastic day, this made me incredibly sad. So, in a selfish way, it was really difficult to hear how great the camp was and see pictures of my teammates with new friends and smiling faces. DO NOT GET ME WRONG, I'm very happy for my teammates. I just wish that I could have been with them.
Later.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
From Woes to Prose
Health Journal:
Monday, July 28:
8:00 AM: I got 9 hours of sleep last night. My mind's rested, but my legs feel just the same as they did late last night. My legs are as tired as they have been for the past 3 weeks, despite getting 9 hours of uninterrupted sleep. I'm tired of this. Standing is still tiring. I can't stand for a prolonged period of time. I feel fine sitting down though, but standing is tiring. I never thought that after being able to run a couple thousand of miles that standing would be difficult. Well, actually, if I put it that way...
12:30 PM: My hamstring started bothering me again. It seems that there are few places in my legs that DON'T have scar tissue in it. My shins started randomly hurting yesterday, but no sign of that pain today, so that's a good thing.
Tuesday, July 29:
8:30 AM: I got 9 hours of sleep again last night. Uninterrupted too. My legs are still tired and sleep is not leaving them refreshed.
About now, I've realized that there is almost no logical transition into what else I'm going to say... So here we go!
The more I think about it, ways of communications these days are rather depressing. How many people call each other on the phone anymore? Is ones' idea of social interaction and fun going out with a friend, or chatting on facebook/(other instant messaging programs) with many friends at once! The way I see it is that talking nowadays is overrated. Texting is the new form of communication. I honestly don't see too many people talking on phones anymore, and when I do it's usually people with those bluetooth microphones that look like they're talking to themselves... and I just have to make fun of those people.
I'm one of the few teenagers in the nation not to have text, and while it's inconvenient at times, I'm still happy to say that I still have to talk to people. Real life conversations are just so much more real. That seems like an obvious point, but many things are missed during texting, including body language and tone of voice. But the biggest thing is that texting is so much different from real life in that it is almost impossible to become true friends. I guess what I'm trying to say is that if you were hurt and needed someone to comfort you, would you ask the person who you've ONLY conversed through text messaging? Probably not. I know I wouldn't. I just have a feeling that people will fail to develop really real personal relationships and instead have a lot of acquaintences.
I'm having a REALLY difficult time articulating this thought, so if anyone wants to talk about it and clarify somethings, you know how to contact me.
Anyway, last night I got home from a Volcanoes baseball game. It was fun, except really long. I'm not really a huge fan of baseball, but it's fun going to the games. Anyway, when I got home, my mom showed the dorm layout information on the Colorado State University, which I liked by the way. After that, I checked my facebook... only to see that I had 6 notifications!!! Now that's a lot for me, so naturally I was kind of excited, only to have my hopes dashed by notifications from the compare people application, exclaiming these beautiful words: "Somebody has just compared you to one of her friends." Just those 10 words can make you feel like a loser, because you know that in a 50-50 shot, you just lost and it's enough to make you say "hmm." Now, I don't put much stock into these ratings, which by the way, I think that the scale is from 1-100, and 100 is the highest, so I'm pretty much off the charts, but in the end it's a stupid application, so don't worry about it.
Once again, there's not much you can tell about a person over the internet or text messaging. Ironically, I wrote all about this on the internet. Oh well.
Later.
Monday, July 28:
8:00 AM: I got 9 hours of sleep last night. My mind's rested, but my legs feel just the same as they did late last night. My legs are as tired as they have been for the past 3 weeks, despite getting 9 hours of uninterrupted sleep. I'm tired of this. Standing is still tiring. I can't stand for a prolonged period of time. I feel fine sitting down though, but standing is tiring. I never thought that after being able to run a couple thousand of miles that standing would be difficult. Well, actually, if I put it that way...
12:30 PM: My hamstring started bothering me again. It seems that there are few places in my legs that DON'T have scar tissue in it. My shins started randomly hurting yesterday, but no sign of that pain today, so that's a good thing.
Tuesday, July 29:
8:30 AM: I got 9 hours of sleep again last night. Uninterrupted too. My legs are still tired and sleep is not leaving them refreshed.
About now, I've realized that there is almost no logical transition into what else I'm going to say... So here we go!
The more I think about it, ways of communications these days are rather depressing. How many people call each other on the phone anymore? Is ones' idea of social interaction and fun going out with a friend, or chatting on facebook/(other instant messaging programs) with many friends at once! The way I see it is that talking nowadays is overrated. Texting is the new form of communication. I honestly don't see too many people talking on phones anymore, and when I do it's usually people with those bluetooth microphones that look like they're talking to themselves... and I just have to make fun of those people.
I'm one of the few teenagers in the nation not to have text, and while it's inconvenient at times, I'm still happy to say that I still have to talk to people. Real life conversations are just so much more real. That seems like an obvious point, but many things are missed during texting, including body language and tone of voice. But the biggest thing is that texting is so much different from real life in that it is almost impossible to become true friends. I guess what I'm trying to say is that if you were hurt and needed someone to comfort you, would you ask the person who you've ONLY conversed through text messaging? Probably not. I know I wouldn't. I just have a feeling that people will fail to develop really real personal relationships and instead have a lot of acquaintences.
I'm having a REALLY difficult time articulating this thought, so if anyone wants to talk about it and clarify somethings, you know how to contact me.
Anyway, last night I got home from a Volcanoes baseball game. It was fun, except really long. I'm not really a huge fan of baseball, but it's fun going to the games. Anyway, when I got home, my mom showed the dorm layout information on the Colorado State University, which I liked by the way. After that, I checked my facebook... only to see that I had 6 notifications!!! Now that's a lot for me, so naturally I was kind of excited, only to have my hopes dashed by notifications from the compare people application, exclaiming these beautiful words: "Somebody has just compared you to one of her friends." Just those 10 words can make you feel like a loser, because you know that in a 50-50 shot, you just lost and it's enough to make you say "hmm." Now, I don't put much stock into these ratings, which by the way, I think that the scale is from 1-100, and 100 is the highest, so I'm pretty much off the charts, but in the end it's a stupid application, so don't worry about it.
Once again, there's not much you can tell about a person over the internet or text messaging. Ironically, I wrote all about this on the internet. Oh well.
Later.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
From Running With Buffaloes and the College Search to the Importance of Friends
Anyone that truly knows me (that is, mostly anyone that goes to my school) would probably know that I run more than anyone in our entire school. That's right, it's true. As a cross country runner who would double run everyday throughout seasons and offseasons, I would cover more distance than a lot of the people on our team combined. With each 5:40 AM run, with stretching afterwards, and each solid afternoon practice, followed by another hour of corework and stretching, I take my running very seriously. That isn't to say that running is a job for me. That isn't to say that don't enjoy my running. I work to be the best, because I finally found something that I'm good at. Sure, I would do mediocrely at many sports. I had basic talent in almost everything I tried. But I never excelled, no matter how hard I worked. With so many failed attempts, I finally found that I was better than most at running. And now that I have found this passion, I can't afford to slack off and forfeit the special talent I've been given. I take tremendous pride in the hard work I put in, so consequently, it kills me to finish behind people who work less than half as hard as I do. I am yet to have a major breakthrough.
Despite the original title (which I happen to like to much too switch around) I feel that now would be a better time to transition into the importance of friends, because it is my friends that keep my hopes alive and my feelings in check when I need it the most.
Last night, I spent a good deal of time talking to a good friend who happened to be a training partner of mine. We talked about the whole college process as far as recruitment letters to being a walk-on. I'm planning on attending Washington State University, but brought up my hesitancy towards competing D1 and in the Pac-10. I didn't have much faith in myself, because of my results thus far. He brought up that even if I didn't make the varsity team as a freshman, that at least I'd get to run with high-level recruits and a team that cares about the team and running in general. And most importantly, he told me that he had faith in me. He continues to have faith in me, through all the ups and downs I've experienced. The road of a runner is not an easy one.
Some of my most important friends haven't even been my peers. Coach Jimenez was the best coach that I ever had because he believed in me, when my past coaches haven't. Jimenez saw my desire and was one of the few who truly knew what I was going through (all of the miles, injuries, and other hardships). He would always email me back if I had questions and he always wanted to know how I was doing in the offseasons. He truly knew that I was the hardest working, despite the nonexistant credit given to me outside of my own team. I followed every direction he ever gave me and he truly knew his stuff. Thank you Coach Jimenez.
Another one the people who I could always turn to was my favorite teacher ever (hands down), Mr. Swartwout. I just want to say that he has always cared for me more than any other teacher and has believed in me when others wouldn't. He is always there for me when I need an adult to talk to inside the school, and I can't say thank you enough.
You might be wondering why I included Running With Buffaloes in my title. Well, to be honest, I feel like running with my team can be like running with a bunch of buffaloes. Just kidding. . . but seriously. I hate the apathy that radiates throughout our team. No one cares about the sport, and more importantly, few people care about the team. The book Running With the Buffaloes by Chris Lear documents the 1998 University of Colorado Cross Country team--a team that truly desires the national championship and demonstrates what is required to be the best: Unbeatable work ethic and unbelievably strong team unity. Because of this, I'm focused more towards my future, running at the collegiate level. I've wanted nothing more than to have a team with a winning attitude and a passion for running and I'm not going to find that at Sprague.
Forgive me for the disorganization, but passion cannot be contained in a set structure.
Despite the original title (which I happen to like to much too switch around) I feel that now would be a better time to transition into the importance of friends, because it is my friends that keep my hopes alive and my feelings in check when I need it the most.
Last night, I spent a good deal of time talking to a good friend who happened to be a training partner of mine. We talked about the whole college process as far as recruitment letters to being a walk-on. I'm planning on attending Washington State University, but brought up my hesitancy towards competing D1 and in the Pac-10. I didn't have much faith in myself, because of my results thus far. He brought up that even if I didn't make the varsity team as a freshman, that at least I'd get to run with high-level recruits and a team that cares about the team and running in general. And most importantly, he told me that he had faith in me. He continues to have faith in me, through all the ups and downs I've experienced. The road of a runner is not an easy one.
Some of my most important friends haven't even been my peers. Coach Jimenez was the best coach that I ever had because he believed in me, when my past coaches haven't. Jimenez saw my desire and was one of the few who truly knew what I was going through (all of the miles, injuries, and other hardships). He would always email me back if I had questions and he always wanted to know how I was doing in the offseasons. He truly knew that I was the hardest working, despite the nonexistant credit given to me outside of my own team. I followed every direction he ever gave me and he truly knew his stuff. Thank you Coach Jimenez.
Another one the people who I could always turn to was my favorite teacher ever (hands down), Mr. Swartwout. I just want to say that he has always cared for me more than any other teacher and has believed in me when others wouldn't. He is always there for me when I need an adult to talk to inside the school, and I can't say thank you enough.
You might be wondering why I included Running With Buffaloes in my title. Well, to be honest, I feel like running with my team can be like running with a bunch of buffaloes. Just kidding. . . but seriously. I hate the apathy that radiates throughout our team. No one cares about the sport, and more importantly, few people care about the team. The book Running With the Buffaloes by Chris Lear documents the 1998 University of Colorado Cross Country team--a team that truly desires the national championship and demonstrates what is required to be the best: Unbeatable work ethic and unbelievably strong team unity. Because of this, I'm focused more towards my future, running at the collegiate level. I've wanted nothing more than to have a team with a winning attitude and a passion for running and I'm not going to find that at Sprague.
Forgive me for the disorganization, but passion cannot be contained in a set structure.
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Thoughts Generated by Applebee's and Preppy Girls
OK! I thought it'd be important to tell all of you that I'm in a great mood right now. I had one of the best days of my life yesterday, despite the fatigue I experienced. I won't go into the details, but you can read about it in Trevor Wong's blog, so I suggest you look there. I also had the best meatball marinara sandwich of my life. I second the notion that Jacob Youngberg is a sandwich artist, he really is. I happened to enjoy the footlong sandwich for probably over a half an hour (yeah, I'm a slow eater by comparison with my friends). But if you are further curious about my day, check out Trevor's blog, because we all hung (hanged?) out for most of the day.
Anyway, this wouldn't be my blog unless I offered some enlightening ramblings. I'm still in a great mood, but I wasn't last monday, and I never really got the chance to talk about what went through my mind while I was at Applebee's.
On monday night, after a Portland to Coast Relay team meeting, our group went out to Applebee's. I wasn't hungry, so I was a little hesistant to go, but I ended up going anyway, figuring that it'd be a lot of fun. Wow, was I wrong about that notion. I don't know if the other person I was with, whom I gave rides to and from the meeting, felt the same way, but I happened to feel completely separated from the group. Here's how separated I felt: The waiter came by to take orders for our drinks, and I said in a mock adult voice, intentionally joking and trying to sound ridiculous, "I'd like the Mango Main Street Rita please." Instead of laughing, which is what I was trying to derive from him, he sharply replied, "Can I see your ID?" in which I immediately replied with a laugh and said "Ahhhhh, I'm just kidding, I'd just like water :)". He further added, "You didn't think I'd ask you that, did you?" Ok, I'll be honest, after he said that, I was PISSED off. I've been there before when my friend has tried to order an alcoholic beverage just joking around and the waiters or usually waitresses will just laugh. Anyway, back to the whole existential alienation thing, only the guy who I had been giving rides knew I tried to order that. He thought it was funny, but no one else even cared I was there. The girl I was sitting right next to didn't engage in conversation with me, or even know I tried to order an alcoholic beverage. At that point, I was pretty depressed, only to be further blown. No one did anything to offend me, but I just got to thinking about things, and stuff really bothered me.
So, I noticed that these two girls who happened to go to my school, who are now sophomores, were there. I'm not going to lie, they are cute girls. However, they know they are cute, and don't have a problem with flaunting it around. These girls were free-loading around together, and they happened to see some guys there that they knew they'd be able to join in with because they are so good-looking... (insert vomiting sounds here). One of the guys is my age and one is a year older. They both happen to be nice guys. The older one ran cross country with me one year. However, when the girls joined in with them, they became real A-holes. That effect depresses me so much. I hate the fronts that people put on when trying to impress others. Since when was being a jerk a turn-on? They weren't bad-mouthing me or anything, but instead were completely uncordial when I told them to have a good night as I exited the building. These fronts don't always appear when one is trying to impress the opposite sex, it often happens when certain people are around other certain people. I have a friend who changed schools because of the number of people who change when surrounded by certain "friends." I greatly respect this friend of mine, and am thoroughly disgusted by this behavior myself.
This isn't to say that I dislike girls or preppy girls for that matter. I'm friends with many girls that are some of the coolest people I know. It's the specific group that think they're amazing because of there good-looks and in turn are very skankwhorish. I think that that concludes my thoughts on this subject.
Finally, something on a lighter note, I'm super excited to The Dark Knight tonight. I'm going to go with some friends and my family and we'll also go to dinner too. I've had a surprisingly great last week, in spite of my inability to run. It's kinda nice to have a vacation from running. Training 44 weeks of the year, 6 days a week really takes it out of you.
By the way, my song of the week would definitely be Exo-Politics by Muse. Check it out.
Anyway, this wouldn't be my blog unless I offered some enlightening ramblings. I'm still in a great mood, but I wasn't last monday, and I never really got the chance to talk about what went through my mind while I was at Applebee's.
On monday night, after a Portland to Coast Relay team meeting, our group went out to Applebee's. I wasn't hungry, so I was a little hesistant to go, but I ended up going anyway, figuring that it'd be a lot of fun. Wow, was I wrong about that notion. I don't know if the other person I was with, whom I gave rides to and from the meeting, felt the same way, but I happened to feel completely separated from the group. Here's how separated I felt: The waiter came by to take orders for our drinks, and I said in a mock adult voice, intentionally joking and trying to sound ridiculous, "I'd like the Mango Main Street Rita please." Instead of laughing, which is what I was trying to derive from him, he sharply replied, "Can I see your ID?" in which I immediately replied with a laugh and said "Ahhhhh, I'm just kidding, I'd just like water :)". He further added, "You didn't think I'd ask you that, did you?" Ok, I'll be honest, after he said that, I was PISSED off. I've been there before when my friend has tried to order an alcoholic beverage just joking around and the waiters or usually waitresses will just laugh. Anyway, back to the whole existential alienation thing, only the guy who I had been giving rides knew I tried to order that. He thought it was funny, but no one else even cared I was there. The girl I was sitting right next to didn't engage in conversation with me, or even know I tried to order an alcoholic beverage. At that point, I was pretty depressed, only to be further blown. No one did anything to offend me, but I just got to thinking about things, and stuff really bothered me.
So, I noticed that these two girls who happened to go to my school, who are now sophomores, were there. I'm not going to lie, they are cute girls. However, they know they are cute, and don't have a problem with flaunting it around. These girls were free-loading around together, and they happened to see some guys there that they knew they'd be able to join in with because they are so good-looking... (insert vomiting sounds here). One of the guys is my age and one is a year older. They both happen to be nice guys. The older one ran cross country with me one year. However, when the girls joined in with them, they became real A-holes. That effect depresses me so much. I hate the fronts that people put on when trying to impress others. Since when was being a jerk a turn-on? They weren't bad-mouthing me or anything, but instead were completely uncordial when I told them to have a good night as I exited the building. These fronts don't always appear when one is trying to impress the opposite sex, it often happens when certain people are around other certain people. I have a friend who changed schools because of the number of people who change when surrounded by certain "friends." I greatly respect this friend of mine, and am thoroughly disgusted by this behavior myself.
This isn't to say that I dislike girls or preppy girls for that matter. I'm friends with many girls that are some of the coolest people I know. It's the specific group that think they're amazing because of there good-looks and in turn are very skankwhorish. I think that that concludes my thoughts on this subject.
Finally, something on a lighter note, I'm super excited to The Dark Knight tonight. I'm going to go with some friends and my family and we'll also go to dinner too. I've had a surprisingly great last week, in spite of my inability to run. It's kinda nice to have a vacation from running. Training 44 weeks of the year, 6 days a week really takes it out of you.
By the way, my song of the week would definitely be Exo-Politics by Muse. Check it out.
Friday, July 18, 2008
A Few Thoughts on Religion, Paychecks, and Wal-Mart
The first blog entry is always the hardest. With this being my first blog ever, my internet writing skills are far from refined. The course of the last couple months have been turbulent to say the least, especially the past week or so. A lot has been streaming through my mind at dizzying speeds often leaving me melancholy. I'm past the stage of depression for sure. But things remain on my mind that I just feel would be great to talk about.
Yesterday, while working at my physical therapist job (which is great, I'll have you know), a patient came in to work out and get treatment. You know, the usual. Actually, before talking about this specific patient, let me tell you that a wide assortment of people come and go through the clinic. We have high school athletes who come in to work out, fully grown adults who work out, elderly people getting therapy, and other interesting people, all with different backgrounds. For instance, there was a 24 year old girl who happened to hit on me quite frequently... however, it was hard to determine which of her 4 personalities was the one that found me irresistible... Lucky for me, she was discharged the same week that I was hired. No connection, just a glorious coincidence. Anyway, back to the specific patient mentioned earlier. This guy, a very nice guy as far as I can tell, happens to be a youth pastor for a church in Salem. One of the girls that I work with was keeping him company as we always do with our patients (remember, we serve with smiles and high spirits). She started telling him about a guy that she met and consequently dates now. The first thing he asked was if he was a believer... thus, the start of the theological interrogation. He asked her what church she went to, what they believed exactly, and the style of sermonizing. He rather invasively forced her to tell him exactly what she believed and how she went about her worship and beliefs. I hate that holier-than-thou attitude. I've come across the same type of thing at a small group one time. In fact, it was through the same church. The mindset of the church is to quiz the "believers" about the bible to make sure that they're Christian and to see how Holy they are. Now, I'm not Freud or anything, and this ic from the perspective of a 17 year old, and that's how I view it. Anyway, I feel more than uncomfortable at these types of "learning sessions." Needless to say, I never went back. By now, you're probably wondering what my point is, and I'm about to make it. I'd like to consider myself as a pretty deeply religious kid. Does it matter that I don't have 90 bible verses memorized? Heck, I don't have any bible verses memorized. Well, except for the most important one, and I don't even have that spot on. I thought that believing and being religious meant devoting your life to the purpose of your religion. That's a very difficult thing to word by the way, so cut me some slack. Since when is being a better Christian determined by the number of bible verse you've memorized, or how many kids you bring to church camp, or how many kids you make uncomfortable when forcing them to come to your church groups? I always felt that I was very uncomfortable when these small group leaders would ask me on the spot to commit to coming to their youth group every week. If I'd see these people at lunch, visiting my school, I'd do my best to avoid them. Well, anyway, I feel that my kindness and care speaks more volumes than the superficiality of these proclaimed "righteous believers" that many Christian people claim to be. Also, I do feel that people have every right to believe what they want, which also angers me when people try to force their religion down others throats.
To reiterate my beliefs:
-Be kind. It works wonders for people.
-Allow people to make the religious journey for themselves. It will mean more to them and it will happen when the time is right.
-I believe every person has a right to their own religion. I may not agree with it, but I will certainly love you the same.
-Don't quiz people about their own religion. It is both tactless and very egocentric and does not make you holier than the other person.
Hmm. As of now, I realize that this blog is already very long, but I don't really want this to be just a bunch of religous ranting. So I'll move on to another thing that I've thought about a lot recently: Politics.
Now, I don't mean I'm going to support or hate on any politicans right now. That's not really what I mean. I mean, what are my own political beliefs? I always thought of myself as a conservative. Growing up, I thought I was growing up in a conservative family. Certainly, there were conservative overtones, but as I grew older and start questioning beliefs, I really feel that my family and I are more moderate than anything. Even still, I've been left questioning my own beliefs the past few weeks. First of all, I have never liked the stratification and segregation that politics cause among the brotherhood that we all share as human beings. I still think politics cause more anger and separation than war. So, with that mindset, I'd like to be in the middle right? No one can hate me there, correct? As I've matured, I've realized that I'm more moderate because I believe some weird things! I don't know what I am.
I got paid yesterday. Paydays are great. Your hard work illustrated by 3 numbers (ok, so I only work part time). However, I couldn't help notice all of the taxes taken out. I mean, am I tipping the government for my services. This prompted a thought provoking question: how liberal am I? I had previously seen liberalness in me with regards to the desire I had to help people less fortunate than I am. I thought that taxes were a great idea. However, one visit to Wal-Mart will change that opinion of mine any day. When ever I enter Wal-Mart, I am reminded of the downfall of mankind. I see all of these lazy white trash with crying babies that they can't support nor parent, buying junk that they shouldn't be, smoking and being rude. And you know what? These people are collecting unemployment and taking our hard earned money away from us. Taxes enable lazy parasites to menace our society. I really admire liberals for their desire to help people less fortunate, I just think they are approaching it incorrectly and that something needs to change. Lastly, until hard-working hispanic people prove me wrong, I still believe that they should join the US work force and we ship out all of the lazy white people into Mexico. Is that a liberal idea?
Sorry about the strong feelings. Next blog entry should be a little bit more light hearted.
Yesterday, while working at my physical therapist job (which is great, I'll have you know), a patient came in to work out and get treatment. You know, the usual. Actually, before talking about this specific patient, let me tell you that a wide assortment of people come and go through the clinic. We have high school athletes who come in to work out, fully grown adults who work out, elderly people getting therapy, and other interesting people, all with different backgrounds. For instance, there was a 24 year old girl who happened to hit on me quite frequently... however, it was hard to determine which of her 4 personalities was the one that found me irresistible... Lucky for me, she was discharged the same week that I was hired. No connection, just a glorious coincidence. Anyway, back to the specific patient mentioned earlier. This guy, a very nice guy as far as I can tell, happens to be a youth pastor for a church in Salem. One of the girls that I work with was keeping him company as we always do with our patients (remember, we serve with smiles and high spirits). She started telling him about a guy that she met and consequently dates now. The first thing he asked was if he was a believer... thus, the start of the theological interrogation. He asked her what church she went to, what they believed exactly, and the style of sermonizing. He rather invasively forced her to tell him exactly what she believed and how she went about her worship and beliefs. I hate that holier-than-thou attitude. I've come across the same type of thing at a small group one time. In fact, it was through the same church. The mindset of the church is to quiz the "believers" about the bible to make sure that they're Christian and to see how Holy they are. Now, I'm not Freud or anything, and this ic from the perspective of a 17 year old, and that's how I view it. Anyway, I feel more than uncomfortable at these types of "learning sessions." Needless to say, I never went back. By now, you're probably wondering what my point is, and I'm about to make it. I'd like to consider myself as a pretty deeply religious kid. Does it matter that I don't have 90 bible verses memorized? Heck, I don't have any bible verses memorized. Well, except for the most important one, and I don't even have that spot on. I thought that believing and being religious meant devoting your life to the purpose of your religion. That's a very difficult thing to word by the way, so cut me some slack. Since when is being a better Christian determined by the number of bible verse you've memorized, or how many kids you bring to church camp, or how many kids you make uncomfortable when forcing them to come to your church groups? I always felt that I was very uncomfortable when these small group leaders would ask me on the spot to commit to coming to their youth group every week. If I'd see these people at lunch, visiting my school, I'd do my best to avoid them. Well, anyway, I feel that my kindness and care speaks more volumes than the superficiality of these proclaimed "righteous believers" that many Christian people claim to be. Also, I do feel that people have every right to believe what they want, which also angers me when people try to force their religion down others throats.
To reiterate my beliefs:
-Be kind. It works wonders for people.
-Allow people to make the religious journey for themselves. It will mean more to them and it will happen when the time is right.
-I believe every person has a right to their own religion. I may not agree with it, but I will certainly love you the same.
-Don't quiz people about their own religion. It is both tactless and very egocentric and does not make you holier than the other person.
Hmm. As of now, I realize that this blog is already very long, but I don't really want this to be just a bunch of religous ranting. So I'll move on to another thing that I've thought about a lot recently: Politics.
Now, I don't mean I'm going to support or hate on any politicans right now. That's not really what I mean. I mean, what are my own political beliefs? I always thought of myself as a conservative. Growing up, I thought I was growing up in a conservative family. Certainly, there were conservative overtones, but as I grew older and start questioning beliefs, I really feel that my family and I are more moderate than anything. Even still, I've been left questioning my own beliefs the past few weeks. First of all, I have never liked the stratification and segregation that politics cause among the brotherhood that we all share as human beings. I still think politics cause more anger and separation than war. So, with that mindset, I'd like to be in the middle right? No one can hate me there, correct? As I've matured, I've realized that I'm more moderate because I believe some weird things! I don't know what I am.
I got paid yesterday. Paydays are great. Your hard work illustrated by 3 numbers (ok, so I only work part time). However, I couldn't help notice all of the taxes taken out. I mean, am I tipping the government for my services. This prompted a thought provoking question: how liberal am I? I had previously seen liberalness in me with regards to the desire I had to help people less fortunate than I am. I thought that taxes were a great idea. However, one visit to Wal-Mart will change that opinion of mine any day. When ever I enter Wal-Mart, I am reminded of the downfall of mankind. I see all of these lazy white trash with crying babies that they can't support nor parent, buying junk that they shouldn't be, smoking and being rude. And you know what? These people are collecting unemployment and taking our hard earned money away from us. Taxes enable lazy parasites to menace our society. I really admire liberals for their desire to help people less fortunate, I just think they are approaching it incorrectly and that something needs to change. Lastly, until hard-working hispanic people prove me wrong, I still believe that they should join the US work force and we ship out all of the lazy white people into Mexico. Is that a liberal idea?
Sorry about the strong feelings. Next blog entry should be a little bit more light hearted.
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