Health Journal:
Monday, July 28:
8:00 AM: I got 9 hours of sleep last night. My mind's rested, but my legs feel just the same as they did late last night. My legs are as tired as they have been for the past 3 weeks, despite getting 9 hours of uninterrupted sleep. I'm tired of this. Standing is still tiring. I can't stand for a prolonged period of time. I feel fine sitting down though, but standing is tiring. I never thought that after being able to run a couple thousand of miles that standing would be difficult. Well, actually, if I put it that way...
12:30 PM: My hamstring started bothering me again. It seems that there are few places in my legs that DON'T have scar tissue in it. My shins started randomly hurting yesterday, but no sign of that pain today, so that's a good thing.
Tuesday, July 29:
8:30 AM: I got 9 hours of sleep again last night. Uninterrupted too. My legs are still tired and sleep is not leaving them refreshed.
About now, I've realized that there is almost no logical transition into what else I'm going to say... So here we go!
The more I think about it, ways of communications these days are rather depressing. How many people call each other on the phone anymore? Is ones' idea of social interaction and fun going out with a friend, or chatting on facebook/(other instant messaging programs) with many friends at once! The way I see it is that talking nowadays is overrated. Texting is the new form of communication. I honestly don't see too many people talking on phones anymore, and when I do it's usually people with those bluetooth microphones that look like they're talking to themselves... and I just have to make fun of those people.
I'm one of the few teenagers in the nation not to have text, and while it's inconvenient at times, I'm still happy to say that I still have to talk to people. Real life conversations are just so much more real. That seems like an obvious point, but many things are missed during texting, including body language and tone of voice. But the biggest thing is that texting is so much different from real life in that it is almost impossible to become true friends. I guess what I'm trying to say is that if you were hurt and needed someone to comfort you, would you ask the person who you've ONLY conversed through text messaging? Probably not. I know I wouldn't. I just have a feeling that people will fail to develop really real personal relationships and instead have a lot of acquaintences.
I'm having a REALLY difficult time articulating this thought, so if anyone wants to talk about it and clarify somethings, you know how to contact me.
Anyway, last night I got home from a Volcanoes baseball game. It was fun, except really long. I'm not really a huge fan of baseball, but it's fun going to the games. Anyway, when I got home, my mom showed the dorm layout information on the Colorado State University, which I liked by the way. After that, I checked my facebook... only to see that I had 6 notifications!!! Now that's a lot for me, so naturally I was kind of excited, only to have my hopes dashed by notifications from the compare people application, exclaiming these beautiful words: "Somebody has just compared you to one of her friends." Just those 10 words can make you feel like a loser, because you know that in a 50-50 shot, you just lost and it's enough to make you say "hmm." Now, I don't put much stock into these ratings, which by the way, I think that the scale is from 1-100, and 100 is the highest, so I'm pretty much off the charts, but in the end it's a stupid application, so don't worry about it.
Once again, there's not much you can tell about a person over the internet or text messaging. Ironically, I wrote all about this on the internet. Oh well.
Later.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
From Running With Buffaloes and the College Search to the Importance of Friends
Anyone that truly knows me (that is, mostly anyone that goes to my school) would probably know that I run more than anyone in our entire school. That's right, it's true. As a cross country runner who would double run everyday throughout seasons and offseasons, I would cover more distance than a lot of the people on our team combined. With each 5:40 AM run, with stretching afterwards, and each solid afternoon practice, followed by another hour of corework and stretching, I take my running very seriously. That isn't to say that running is a job for me. That isn't to say that don't enjoy my running. I work to be the best, because I finally found something that I'm good at. Sure, I would do mediocrely at many sports. I had basic talent in almost everything I tried. But I never excelled, no matter how hard I worked. With so many failed attempts, I finally found that I was better than most at running. And now that I have found this passion, I can't afford to slack off and forfeit the special talent I've been given. I take tremendous pride in the hard work I put in, so consequently, it kills me to finish behind people who work less than half as hard as I do. I am yet to have a major breakthrough.
Despite the original title (which I happen to like to much too switch around) I feel that now would be a better time to transition into the importance of friends, because it is my friends that keep my hopes alive and my feelings in check when I need it the most.
Last night, I spent a good deal of time talking to a good friend who happened to be a training partner of mine. We talked about the whole college process as far as recruitment letters to being a walk-on. I'm planning on attending Washington State University, but brought up my hesitancy towards competing D1 and in the Pac-10. I didn't have much faith in myself, because of my results thus far. He brought up that even if I didn't make the varsity team as a freshman, that at least I'd get to run with high-level recruits and a team that cares about the team and running in general. And most importantly, he told me that he had faith in me. He continues to have faith in me, through all the ups and downs I've experienced. The road of a runner is not an easy one.
Some of my most important friends haven't even been my peers. Coach Jimenez was the best coach that I ever had because he believed in me, when my past coaches haven't. Jimenez saw my desire and was one of the few who truly knew what I was going through (all of the miles, injuries, and other hardships). He would always email me back if I had questions and he always wanted to know how I was doing in the offseasons. He truly knew that I was the hardest working, despite the nonexistant credit given to me outside of my own team. I followed every direction he ever gave me and he truly knew his stuff. Thank you Coach Jimenez.
Another one the people who I could always turn to was my favorite teacher ever (hands down), Mr. Swartwout. I just want to say that he has always cared for me more than any other teacher and has believed in me when others wouldn't. He is always there for me when I need an adult to talk to inside the school, and I can't say thank you enough.
You might be wondering why I included Running With Buffaloes in my title. Well, to be honest, I feel like running with my team can be like running with a bunch of buffaloes. Just kidding. . . but seriously. I hate the apathy that radiates throughout our team. No one cares about the sport, and more importantly, few people care about the team. The book Running With the Buffaloes by Chris Lear documents the 1998 University of Colorado Cross Country team--a team that truly desires the national championship and demonstrates what is required to be the best: Unbeatable work ethic and unbelievably strong team unity. Because of this, I'm focused more towards my future, running at the collegiate level. I've wanted nothing more than to have a team with a winning attitude and a passion for running and I'm not going to find that at Sprague.
Forgive me for the disorganization, but passion cannot be contained in a set structure.
Despite the original title (which I happen to like to much too switch around) I feel that now would be a better time to transition into the importance of friends, because it is my friends that keep my hopes alive and my feelings in check when I need it the most.
Last night, I spent a good deal of time talking to a good friend who happened to be a training partner of mine. We talked about the whole college process as far as recruitment letters to being a walk-on. I'm planning on attending Washington State University, but brought up my hesitancy towards competing D1 and in the Pac-10. I didn't have much faith in myself, because of my results thus far. He brought up that even if I didn't make the varsity team as a freshman, that at least I'd get to run with high-level recruits and a team that cares about the team and running in general. And most importantly, he told me that he had faith in me. He continues to have faith in me, through all the ups and downs I've experienced. The road of a runner is not an easy one.
Some of my most important friends haven't even been my peers. Coach Jimenez was the best coach that I ever had because he believed in me, when my past coaches haven't. Jimenez saw my desire and was one of the few who truly knew what I was going through (all of the miles, injuries, and other hardships). He would always email me back if I had questions and he always wanted to know how I was doing in the offseasons. He truly knew that I was the hardest working, despite the nonexistant credit given to me outside of my own team. I followed every direction he ever gave me and he truly knew his stuff. Thank you Coach Jimenez.
Another one the people who I could always turn to was my favorite teacher ever (hands down), Mr. Swartwout. I just want to say that he has always cared for me more than any other teacher and has believed in me when others wouldn't. He is always there for me when I need an adult to talk to inside the school, and I can't say thank you enough.
You might be wondering why I included Running With Buffaloes in my title. Well, to be honest, I feel like running with my team can be like running with a bunch of buffaloes. Just kidding. . . but seriously. I hate the apathy that radiates throughout our team. No one cares about the sport, and more importantly, few people care about the team. The book Running With the Buffaloes by Chris Lear documents the 1998 University of Colorado Cross Country team--a team that truly desires the national championship and demonstrates what is required to be the best: Unbeatable work ethic and unbelievably strong team unity. Because of this, I'm focused more towards my future, running at the collegiate level. I've wanted nothing more than to have a team with a winning attitude and a passion for running and I'm not going to find that at Sprague.
Forgive me for the disorganization, but passion cannot be contained in a set structure.
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Thoughts Generated by Applebee's and Preppy Girls
OK! I thought it'd be important to tell all of you that I'm in a great mood right now. I had one of the best days of my life yesterday, despite the fatigue I experienced. I won't go into the details, but you can read about it in Trevor Wong's blog, so I suggest you look there. I also had the best meatball marinara sandwich of my life. I second the notion that Jacob Youngberg is a sandwich artist, he really is. I happened to enjoy the footlong sandwich for probably over a half an hour (yeah, I'm a slow eater by comparison with my friends). But if you are further curious about my day, check out Trevor's blog, because we all hung (hanged?) out for most of the day.
Anyway, this wouldn't be my blog unless I offered some enlightening ramblings. I'm still in a great mood, but I wasn't last monday, and I never really got the chance to talk about what went through my mind while I was at Applebee's.
On monday night, after a Portland to Coast Relay team meeting, our group went out to Applebee's. I wasn't hungry, so I was a little hesistant to go, but I ended up going anyway, figuring that it'd be a lot of fun. Wow, was I wrong about that notion. I don't know if the other person I was with, whom I gave rides to and from the meeting, felt the same way, but I happened to feel completely separated from the group. Here's how separated I felt: The waiter came by to take orders for our drinks, and I said in a mock adult voice, intentionally joking and trying to sound ridiculous, "I'd like the Mango Main Street Rita please." Instead of laughing, which is what I was trying to derive from him, he sharply replied, "Can I see your ID?" in which I immediately replied with a laugh and said "Ahhhhh, I'm just kidding, I'd just like water :)". He further added, "You didn't think I'd ask you that, did you?" Ok, I'll be honest, after he said that, I was PISSED off. I've been there before when my friend has tried to order an alcoholic beverage just joking around and the waiters or usually waitresses will just laugh. Anyway, back to the whole existential alienation thing, only the guy who I had been giving rides knew I tried to order that. He thought it was funny, but no one else even cared I was there. The girl I was sitting right next to didn't engage in conversation with me, or even know I tried to order an alcoholic beverage. At that point, I was pretty depressed, only to be further blown. No one did anything to offend me, but I just got to thinking about things, and stuff really bothered me.
So, I noticed that these two girls who happened to go to my school, who are now sophomores, were there. I'm not going to lie, they are cute girls. However, they know they are cute, and don't have a problem with flaunting it around. These girls were free-loading around together, and they happened to see some guys there that they knew they'd be able to join in with because they are so good-looking... (insert vomiting sounds here). One of the guys is my age and one is a year older. They both happen to be nice guys. The older one ran cross country with me one year. However, when the girls joined in with them, they became real A-holes. That effect depresses me so much. I hate the fronts that people put on when trying to impress others. Since when was being a jerk a turn-on? They weren't bad-mouthing me or anything, but instead were completely uncordial when I told them to have a good night as I exited the building. These fronts don't always appear when one is trying to impress the opposite sex, it often happens when certain people are around other certain people. I have a friend who changed schools because of the number of people who change when surrounded by certain "friends." I greatly respect this friend of mine, and am thoroughly disgusted by this behavior myself.
This isn't to say that I dislike girls or preppy girls for that matter. I'm friends with many girls that are some of the coolest people I know. It's the specific group that think they're amazing because of there good-looks and in turn are very skankwhorish. I think that that concludes my thoughts on this subject.
Finally, something on a lighter note, I'm super excited to The Dark Knight tonight. I'm going to go with some friends and my family and we'll also go to dinner too. I've had a surprisingly great last week, in spite of my inability to run. It's kinda nice to have a vacation from running. Training 44 weeks of the year, 6 days a week really takes it out of you.
By the way, my song of the week would definitely be Exo-Politics by Muse. Check it out.
Anyway, this wouldn't be my blog unless I offered some enlightening ramblings. I'm still in a great mood, but I wasn't last monday, and I never really got the chance to talk about what went through my mind while I was at Applebee's.
On monday night, after a Portland to Coast Relay team meeting, our group went out to Applebee's. I wasn't hungry, so I was a little hesistant to go, but I ended up going anyway, figuring that it'd be a lot of fun. Wow, was I wrong about that notion. I don't know if the other person I was with, whom I gave rides to and from the meeting, felt the same way, but I happened to feel completely separated from the group. Here's how separated I felt: The waiter came by to take orders for our drinks, and I said in a mock adult voice, intentionally joking and trying to sound ridiculous, "I'd like the Mango Main Street Rita please." Instead of laughing, which is what I was trying to derive from him, he sharply replied, "Can I see your ID?" in which I immediately replied with a laugh and said "Ahhhhh, I'm just kidding, I'd just like water :)". He further added, "You didn't think I'd ask you that, did you?" Ok, I'll be honest, after he said that, I was PISSED off. I've been there before when my friend has tried to order an alcoholic beverage just joking around and the waiters or usually waitresses will just laugh. Anyway, back to the whole existential alienation thing, only the guy who I had been giving rides knew I tried to order that. He thought it was funny, but no one else even cared I was there. The girl I was sitting right next to didn't engage in conversation with me, or even know I tried to order an alcoholic beverage. At that point, I was pretty depressed, only to be further blown. No one did anything to offend me, but I just got to thinking about things, and stuff really bothered me.
So, I noticed that these two girls who happened to go to my school, who are now sophomores, were there. I'm not going to lie, they are cute girls. However, they know they are cute, and don't have a problem with flaunting it around. These girls were free-loading around together, and they happened to see some guys there that they knew they'd be able to join in with because they are so good-looking... (insert vomiting sounds here). One of the guys is my age and one is a year older. They both happen to be nice guys. The older one ran cross country with me one year. However, when the girls joined in with them, they became real A-holes. That effect depresses me so much. I hate the fronts that people put on when trying to impress others. Since when was being a jerk a turn-on? They weren't bad-mouthing me or anything, but instead were completely uncordial when I told them to have a good night as I exited the building. These fronts don't always appear when one is trying to impress the opposite sex, it often happens when certain people are around other certain people. I have a friend who changed schools because of the number of people who change when surrounded by certain "friends." I greatly respect this friend of mine, and am thoroughly disgusted by this behavior myself.
This isn't to say that I dislike girls or preppy girls for that matter. I'm friends with many girls that are some of the coolest people I know. It's the specific group that think they're amazing because of there good-looks and in turn are very skankwhorish. I think that that concludes my thoughts on this subject.
Finally, something on a lighter note, I'm super excited to The Dark Knight tonight. I'm going to go with some friends and my family and we'll also go to dinner too. I've had a surprisingly great last week, in spite of my inability to run. It's kinda nice to have a vacation from running. Training 44 weeks of the year, 6 days a week really takes it out of you.
By the way, my song of the week would definitely be Exo-Politics by Muse. Check it out.
Friday, July 18, 2008
A Few Thoughts on Religion, Paychecks, and Wal-Mart
The first blog entry is always the hardest. With this being my first blog ever, my internet writing skills are far from refined. The course of the last couple months have been turbulent to say the least, especially the past week or so. A lot has been streaming through my mind at dizzying speeds often leaving me melancholy. I'm past the stage of depression for sure. But things remain on my mind that I just feel would be great to talk about.
Yesterday, while working at my physical therapist job (which is great, I'll have you know), a patient came in to work out and get treatment. You know, the usual. Actually, before talking about this specific patient, let me tell you that a wide assortment of people come and go through the clinic. We have high school athletes who come in to work out, fully grown adults who work out, elderly people getting therapy, and other interesting people, all with different backgrounds. For instance, there was a 24 year old girl who happened to hit on me quite frequently... however, it was hard to determine which of her 4 personalities was the one that found me irresistible... Lucky for me, she was discharged the same week that I was hired. No connection, just a glorious coincidence. Anyway, back to the specific patient mentioned earlier. This guy, a very nice guy as far as I can tell, happens to be a youth pastor for a church in Salem. One of the girls that I work with was keeping him company as we always do with our patients (remember, we serve with smiles and high spirits). She started telling him about a guy that she met and consequently dates now. The first thing he asked was if he was a believer... thus, the start of the theological interrogation. He asked her what church she went to, what they believed exactly, and the style of sermonizing. He rather invasively forced her to tell him exactly what she believed and how she went about her worship and beliefs. I hate that holier-than-thou attitude. I've come across the same type of thing at a small group one time. In fact, it was through the same church. The mindset of the church is to quiz the "believers" about the bible to make sure that they're Christian and to see how Holy they are. Now, I'm not Freud or anything, and this ic from the perspective of a 17 year old, and that's how I view it. Anyway, I feel more than uncomfortable at these types of "learning sessions." Needless to say, I never went back. By now, you're probably wondering what my point is, and I'm about to make it. I'd like to consider myself as a pretty deeply religious kid. Does it matter that I don't have 90 bible verses memorized? Heck, I don't have any bible verses memorized. Well, except for the most important one, and I don't even have that spot on. I thought that believing and being religious meant devoting your life to the purpose of your religion. That's a very difficult thing to word by the way, so cut me some slack. Since when is being a better Christian determined by the number of bible verse you've memorized, or how many kids you bring to church camp, or how many kids you make uncomfortable when forcing them to come to your church groups? I always felt that I was very uncomfortable when these small group leaders would ask me on the spot to commit to coming to their youth group every week. If I'd see these people at lunch, visiting my school, I'd do my best to avoid them. Well, anyway, I feel that my kindness and care speaks more volumes than the superficiality of these proclaimed "righteous believers" that many Christian people claim to be. Also, I do feel that people have every right to believe what they want, which also angers me when people try to force their religion down others throats.
To reiterate my beliefs:
-Be kind. It works wonders for people.
-Allow people to make the religious journey for themselves. It will mean more to them and it will happen when the time is right.
-I believe every person has a right to their own religion. I may not agree with it, but I will certainly love you the same.
-Don't quiz people about their own religion. It is both tactless and very egocentric and does not make you holier than the other person.
Hmm. As of now, I realize that this blog is already very long, but I don't really want this to be just a bunch of religous ranting. So I'll move on to another thing that I've thought about a lot recently: Politics.
Now, I don't mean I'm going to support or hate on any politicans right now. That's not really what I mean. I mean, what are my own political beliefs? I always thought of myself as a conservative. Growing up, I thought I was growing up in a conservative family. Certainly, there were conservative overtones, but as I grew older and start questioning beliefs, I really feel that my family and I are more moderate than anything. Even still, I've been left questioning my own beliefs the past few weeks. First of all, I have never liked the stratification and segregation that politics cause among the brotherhood that we all share as human beings. I still think politics cause more anger and separation than war. So, with that mindset, I'd like to be in the middle right? No one can hate me there, correct? As I've matured, I've realized that I'm more moderate because I believe some weird things! I don't know what I am.
I got paid yesterday. Paydays are great. Your hard work illustrated by 3 numbers (ok, so I only work part time). However, I couldn't help notice all of the taxes taken out. I mean, am I tipping the government for my services. This prompted a thought provoking question: how liberal am I? I had previously seen liberalness in me with regards to the desire I had to help people less fortunate than I am. I thought that taxes were a great idea. However, one visit to Wal-Mart will change that opinion of mine any day. When ever I enter Wal-Mart, I am reminded of the downfall of mankind. I see all of these lazy white trash with crying babies that they can't support nor parent, buying junk that they shouldn't be, smoking and being rude. And you know what? These people are collecting unemployment and taking our hard earned money away from us. Taxes enable lazy parasites to menace our society. I really admire liberals for their desire to help people less fortunate, I just think they are approaching it incorrectly and that something needs to change. Lastly, until hard-working hispanic people prove me wrong, I still believe that they should join the US work force and we ship out all of the lazy white people into Mexico. Is that a liberal idea?
Sorry about the strong feelings. Next blog entry should be a little bit more light hearted.
Yesterday, while working at my physical therapist job (which is great, I'll have you know), a patient came in to work out and get treatment. You know, the usual. Actually, before talking about this specific patient, let me tell you that a wide assortment of people come and go through the clinic. We have high school athletes who come in to work out, fully grown adults who work out, elderly people getting therapy, and other interesting people, all with different backgrounds. For instance, there was a 24 year old girl who happened to hit on me quite frequently... however, it was hard to determine which of her 4 personalities was the one that found me irresistible... Lucky for me, she was discharged the same week that I was hired. No connection, just a glorious coincidence. Anyway, back to the specific patient mentioned earlier. This guy, a very nice guy as far as I can tell, happens to be a youth pastor for a church in Salem. One of the girls that I work with was keeping him company as we always do with our patients (remember, we serve with smiles and high spirits). She started telling him about a guy that she met and consequently dates now. The first thing he asked was if he was a believer... thus, the start of the theological interrogation. He asked her what church she went to, what they believed exactly, and the style of sermonizing. He rather invasively forced her to tell him exactly what she believed and how she went about her worship and beliefs. I hate that holier-than-thou attitude. I've come across the same type of thing at a small group one time. In fact, it was through the same church. The mindset of the church is to quiz the "believers" about the bible to make sure that they're Christian and to see how Holy they are. Now, I'm not Freud or anything, and this ic from the perspective of a 17 year old, and that's how I view it. Anyway, I feel more than uncomfortable at these types of "learning sessions." Needless to say, I never went back. By now, you're probably wondering what my point is, and I'm about to make it. I'd like to consider myself as a pretty deeply religious kid. Does it matter that I don't have 90 bible verses memorized? Heck, I don't have any bible verses memorized. Well, except for the most important one, and I don't even have that spot on. I thought that believing and being religious meant devoting your life to the purpose of your religion. That's a very difficult thing to word by the way, so cut me some slack. Since when is being a better Christian determined by the number of bible verse you've memorized, or how many kids you bring to church camp, or how many kids you make uncomfortable when forcing them to come to your church groups? I always felt that I was very uncomfortable when these small group leaders would ask me on the spot to commit to coming to their youth group every week. If I'd see these people at lunch, visiting my school, I'd do my best to avoid them. Well, anyway, I feel that my kindness and care speaks more volumes than the superficiality of these proclaimed "righteous believers" that many Christian people claim to be. Also, I do feel that people have every right to believe what they want, which also angers me when people try to force their religion down others throats.
To reiterate my beliefs:
-Be kind. It works wonders for people.
-Allow people to make the religious journey for themselves. It will mean more to them and it will happen when the time is right.
-I believe every person has a right to their own religion. I may not agree with it, but I will certainly love you the same.
-Don't quiz people about their own religion. It is both tactless and very egocentric and does not make you holier than the other person.
Hmm. As of now, I realize that this blog is already very long, but I don't really want this to be just a bunch of religous ranting. So I'll move on to another thing that I've thought about a lot recently: Politics.
Now, I don't mean I'm going to support or hate on any politicans right now. That's not really what I mean. I mean, what are my own political beliefs? I always thought of myself as a conservative. Growing up, I thought I was growing up in a conservative family. Certainly, there were conservative overtones, but as I grew older and start questioning beliefs, I really feel that my family and I are more moderate than anything. Even still, I've been left questioning my own beliefs the past few weeks. First of all, I have never liked the stratification and segregation that politics cause among the brotherhood that we all share as human beings. I still think politics cause more anger and separation than war. So, with that mindset, I'd like to be in the middle right? No one can hate me there, correct? As I've matured, I've realized that I'm more moderate because I believe some weird things! I don't know what I am.
I got paid yesterday. Paydays are great. Your hard work illustrated by 3 numbers (ok, so I only work part time). However, I couldn't help notice all of the taxes taken out. I mean, am I tipping the government for my services. This prompted a thought provoking question: how liberal am I? I had previously seen liberalness in me with regards to the desire I had to help people less fortunate than I am. I thought that taxes were a great idea. However, one visit to Wal-Mart will change that opinion of mine any day. When ever I enter Wal-Mart, I am reminded of the downfall of mankind. I see all of these lazy white trash with crying babies that they can't support nor parent, buying junk that they shouldn't be, smoking and being rude. And you know what? These people are collecting unemployment and taking our hard earned money away from us. Taxes enable lazy parasites to menace our society. I really admire liberals for their desire to help people less fortunate, I just think they are approaching it incorrectly and that something needs to change. Lastly, until hard-working hispanic people prove me wrong, I still believe that they should join the US work force and we ship out all of the lazy white people into Mexico. Is that a liberal idea?
Sorry about the strong feelings. Next blog entry should be a little bit more light hearted.
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